Solving the Friend Conundrum

A few weeks back I mentioned that I’m not sure how to make friends since leaving college.  Honestly, I’m still not sure I know how, but I did finally manage to make some.  As you may have noticed I like …

Letting Cupid Do His Thing

So I’ve grown a bit tired of random tinder messages and in the interested of diverse research I’ve signed up for another free dating service.  I’ll let you take a guess which one…go on guess….Give up?  Its OkCupid. And here are my first impressions:

1) There are just as many awkward sex requests as there are on Tinder.  No big deal, I really didn’t expect that to change.  In fact given that we don’t have to both like each other in order to send a message I expected more.  Though I have already had 2 strange request. One asking if I wanted a BDSM relationship that wanted to treat me “like the queen [I am]” and another asking if he could help me orgasm but didn’t want to have sex he just wanted to massage me.

2) I like that there is a bit more questions and descriptions to be utilized.  It makes it easier to start a conversation with someone rather that just saying “Hi, how are you? ;)” Now I can ask questions like “I see you like basketball, who’s your favorite NBA player?”  or i can be asked questions like “You take karate? What belt level are you at?”

3) Premium Cupid… Okay I understand this is a company that needs to make money and there are some people on the internet who will pay for pretty much anything, no big deal I just wont pay money for something I can get for free.  That is not the issue I have with the Premium membership.  I don’t like that people can see when I read there messages and then bombard me with more.  Some people are quite desperate and the “why aren’t you responding?” questions get old very fast.

As for dates I haven’t had one yet.  I’ve received a few invites but have yet to bite on any. But don’t worry it won’t stay that way for very long.

PS Sorry about the late post…its been a busy week!

Advice From The “Newly Engaged”

Last time on “Advice From” I introduced my Caitlin as the “Serial Girlfriend”, this time its another form of long term couple.  In fact the “Newly Engaged” Donna is so close to her future hubby, Ron, that they are more often referred to among their friend as Ronna.  They are getting married in July (so soon their name will change to the Newlyweds, maybe I’ll make them play the game to see how well the really know each other) and I get to be in the wedding.  How exciting!  However, I not just a part of their wedding, I have been there since day one of their sometimes tumultuous relationship.  It did take them 4 years before they finally started dating and I had the honor of being there for all of it. So I have lots of great stories and observations to share.  Included the time Donna called me to tell me she wanted nothing more to do with Ron only for me to find out 2 weeks later they were dating. Apparently Donna should go into politics she is so good at flip-flopping!

Meet Donna!

Age: 23

Significant Other: Ron

Where did you meet?:  The Iowa State University College of Ag Dance

Longest relationship: 1 and 3/4 years Shortest relationship: of someone I actually dated? Maybe a couple of months

Celebrity crush: Ashton Kutcher since I was 11

Turn offs: unmotivated people, indecisive dudes, cats since I am allergic, people who won’t try new things

Turn ons: an open mind, guys with a diverse taste in food and beers, smart guys

Ideal date: a trip a gastropub where we sample different brews and culinary creations. We should be able to eat off each other’s plate without judgement. Followed by drinks and dancing at a dive bar

A Decent Indecent Proposal

Time for another tale of Tinder woe.  It is a well established fact that the infamous dating app is used by men and women for casual sex almost as much, if not more, than actual dating. Through my use of Tinder I have received many unwanted propositions for sex.  I’ve even mentioned some of them on this blog before, but one truly stands out in my mind as being the most decent indecent proposal one could possibly receive.

I was just having your standard night of swiping when a match started to message me.  There was the obvious flirtation and initial questions being asked.  “Are you from around here?” “Do you prefer burritos or pizza?” “What do you do for a living?” Things are going really well.  This guy is attractive and the conversation is good so I’m thinking about asking him for drinks later in the week. And then he hits me with the truth.

He asks me what I’m looking for on Tinder and I explain that I’m not looking for casual sex, just some people to hang out with and if it becomes more great.  I also explain that I’m not really looking for anything serious, but I reiterate the “No Casual Sex” point. He then says something to this affect “Oh, that’s cool.  I’m just looking for someone to have sex with when I’m around since I’m quite busy and you seemed like a good candidate because you travel for you job a lot as well. But its cool that you’re not in to that.  Have a good night”

This people, this is how I would like to be propositioned if I must be propositioned at all.  He clearly stated his intentions up front and when I said I wasn’t interested he respected that choice and didn’t press the issue. Its crazy that this is something that is out of the ordinary and not what one expects. It should be, but more often than not intentions are blurred or “no” is not taken to mean “no”. It can make dating kind of scary, that’s why I always tell my dates I’m an ax murderer….Okay maybe I don’t.